Putting Our Home in Perspective
The following is a fictional account that portrays a real person in need of a home for the dying.
Think of someone like Mary who faced cancer once already but treatment this time isn’t helping. She decided that the side effects weren’t worth it then entered hospice care. Her children moved out of state.
Her husband and her were able to handle things together for the first few months with a couple visits a week from hospice. But in her last weeks, it became too much. They couldn’t afford 24/7 care since their insurance didn’t cover that and her condition wasn’t complex enough to merit inpatient treatment—and she didn’t want to die in the hospital.
Thankfully there was a home for the dying nearby and she became a guest there. Her oldest daughter flew in but could only get two days off work, so she stayed overnight with her mom at the home—volunteers even transported her to and from the airport. Maria’s husband came daily, but when he couldn’t come because he got sick for 3 days, he didn’t worry because he knew his wife was being loved on.
Home staff decorated her room with her favorite family pictures, lit her favorite scented candles, and a chef cooked her favorite foods—until she stopped eating. Then, volunteers took turns sitting vigil with her—talking with her when she wanted to be talked with and being a silent, compassionate presence when she didn’t.
Mary wanted to see her friends one more time and she loved jazz. The home staff organized a party in the home with a local jazz quartet and other guests in the home joined in the celebration. After things settled down, she settled down and it was clear to staff that her death was near. Her husband stayed that night and within a couple hours she died.
A staff and volunteer were with her, too, one of them were reading the Psalms quietly just like Mary had wanted. The husband was wanted to stay to care for his beloved one last time. They bathed the body, dressed her in her favorite clothes, changed the sheets, and cleaned the room. The hospice provider came by to pronounce the death. Then, after an in-home body viewing the funeral service came. Family, friends, and other home guests, along with staff and volunteers gathered in the living room as her draped body was brought in. A moment of silence was held then memories were shared. Hugs were given. Tears were shed together. Flowers were placed on her body and then she was escorted outside to the hearse.